[color=#08e2f0]2 men were riding in a car

the 1st one : watch out 4 that tree,watch out 4 that tree,watch out 4 that tree

then they crashed into the tree

the 1st one : y didnt u look out for the tree

the 2nd one : cuz ur the one whose driving

Americans are stupid :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE

Videos go here
http://www.zedge.net/forum/t/19806/post-a-funny-or-fav-video/25/#p249

A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her
looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.

He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a
monkey. What an ugly kid."

The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing
uncontrollably. The conductor sees her and comes over to her to
console her.

He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get
off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a
banana for your monkey."

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.

Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?

A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks ?How?d you end up with a peg-leg??

?I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,? says the pirate. ?and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!?

?Holy cow!? said the sailor. ?What about the hook, how?d you get that??

?Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of them cut me darn arm!?

?Absolutely incredible!? gasped the sailor. ?And the eye patch, tell me how you got that??

?A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye,? replied the pirate.

?Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?? asked the sailor, admonished.

Embarassed, the pirate answered ?It was me first day with the hook.?

A four year old little boy was at the doctor?s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks ?Why is your stomach so big??

She replied, ?Im having a baby.? With big eyes, he replied, ?Is the baby in your stomach?? She said, ?He sure is.?

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, ?Is it a good baby?? She said, ?Oh, yes. It?s a real good baby.? At this point the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks foward to what he has to say next?

And, much to her suprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asks.. ?Then why did you eat him??

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and
a sheep and began a conversation.

Cowboy : "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy : "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' alright."

Indian: Look of shock.

Cowboy : "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

Dog: "Yep"

Cowboy : "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes
me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian: Look of total disbelief.

Cowboy : "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy : "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Indian: Extreme look of shock.

Cowboy : "Is this your owner?" pointing at Indian.

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy : "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."

Indian: Total look of utter amazement.

Cowboy : "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep liar."

Night: A sleeping couple is lying in a bed.
Door bell rings: couple wakes up.
Woman: "Quick! My husband is back!"Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: "Shit! I am the husband!"

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.

'Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the
clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all
me patients'.

'Yes, sir!' answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and
asks: 'So,Murphy, how was yer day?'

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.

'The farst one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.'

'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.

'The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did
sir' says Murphy.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?'
asks the doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a
young gorgeous woman borsts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everythin including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I've not seen any man!'

'Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes.'