That was a good one.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'

V die 2 finish school,
Die 2 strt collg,
Die 2 start workin,
Den die 2 marry,
Den 2 retire
& finaly while dyin,
v realise dat v 4got smthn,
v 4got 2 LIVE. hi

A man attempted a bungy jump he was told to bring a 9 meter cord when he jumped he hit the ground the police went 2 the store and asked the salesman he said= he brought 9 m but i know his father so i gave him 2 extra meters

Iit was the happiest day of my life . arrived at the church on time wife waiting at alter i walked up and kissed her on the cheek i smiled and closed the f@@@@@g lid THATS 4U EVA

a man walks into the doctors -'' doctor i feel like a moth !'' he says
the doctor looks bemused- " what are you doing here then you should be at a psychiatrists ?!?"
"i know", the man says, "but i was just passing and your light was on !"

Three guys find themselves ship wrecked on Canibal Island. After a few days of being on the island the chief of the island and his men capture them and tell the ship wrecked crew that they will not eat them if they each bring ten pieces of the same fruit to there chief. Not wanting to be eattin they crew men agree to this. About half an hour has passed and one of the three men returns with a handful of apples and presents them to the chief.

Chief: Now you must stuff each apple up your butt without making a sound or showing any type of emotion. Or else we will eat you

Reluctantly the first guy attempts to place the apples up his butt, so far so good as the first apple goes in without any problems and as he starts placing the second one in he screams. So the canibals eat him and wait as the second guy approachs with a handful of berries.

Chief: Now you must stuff each berry up your butt without making a sound or showing any type of emotion. Or else we will eat you.

Guy 2: Ok?

A few moments pass and the second guy seems to almost be done. While he was placing the final berry in he suddenly starts laughing hysterically. So the canibals eat him. Guy one and two meet up with each other in heaven.

Guy 1: What the hell were you laughing for? You were almost done!

Guy 2: I know, I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples!

In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.

One woman stops a taxi.

"To the airport, please"

After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror,
says:"You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today"

"Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant"

"Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither"