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RAJKUMAR2007

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Joined: 21 Mar 09
From: India
Posts: 333

Post #22319 March 2013, 05:04
Interview of a Married Man (for the benefit of the unmarried ones)

Reporter: So how is your married life?
The married man: First of all, "married life" is an oxymoron.

Reporter: So yours was an arranged marriage, how was it?
The married man: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colors and then.

Reporter: Hmmmm, so when did you realize that married life is dangerous?
The married man: I knew it from day one, marriage is danger, that's why the bride always wears RED.

Reporter: I've heard that arranged marriages last longer that the love ones? Is it true?
The married man: Love marriages........? hahaha, mostly it goes like this:
We are made for each other.
We are mad for each other.
We are maid for each other.


Reporter: So, why you guys don't do any fun things, like playing games together?
The married man: Yes we do. Me and my wife, we are playing a game called "You to be blamed", very close game, right now she is leading by 1876 - 1.

Reporter: Okay, tell us, what kind of conversations you guys make while you're free?
The married man: She asks a lot of questions, every wife does, and as start answering their questions, they start questioning our answers.

Reporter: So any tips you wanna share?
The married man: Yep, quite a few:
(A) Don't waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she'll treat you like a clown anyway.
(B) Never reply to your wife's "I love you" text with an OKAY.
(C) Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
(D) And yes, take your wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.

_Maahi__

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Joined: 16 Aug 11
From: Pakistan
Posts: 3063

Post #223211 March 2013, 00:52
He broke my heart,

I broke his Apple iPhone 5 .....

I think u know who cried louder

This post was written on a mobile device.

Gaurav_mw

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Joined: 8 Dec 12
From: India
Posts: 60

Post #223311 March 2013, 03:19
A boy loved a girl but never proposed her.
With lots of confidence one day he decided to tell her.


At 1AM he typed I LOVE YOU and clicked send


after few seconds he got a message
but he decided to view it next day


next day when he say the message he was shocked...

it was written...
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

.Your A/c balance is insufficient(Rs 0.18),
message cannot be delivered

This post has been edited 1 time. The last edit took place 11.03.13, 03:21.

Shazinem786

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Joined: 5 Sep 09
From: Malaysia
Posts: 3569

Post #223411 March 2013, 04:00
After a terrible fight..
Wife: I want to hear a last word from your mouth and after that, I'll permanently go to my mother's house . .
Husband: "TAXI"... !!!.

RAJKUMAR2007

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Joined: 21 Mar 09
From: India
Posts: 333

Post #223511 March 2013, 10:09
Bill Gates in Heaven (No Offence Pls)

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.

One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"

"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."

"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.

"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to find St. Peter.

Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?!"

"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."

This post has been edited 1 time. The last edit took place 11.03.13, 10:11.

Quitter

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Post #223612 March 2013, 08:53
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesday, I go Friday.

RAJKUMAR2007

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Joined: 21 Mar 09
From: India
Posts: 333

Post #223712 March 2013, 10:11
Words of Wisdom

In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying.

The Nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the Nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the Nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

"Mother....." the Nuns asked earnestly, "please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."

Mother Superior raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said, "DON'T SELL THAT COW."

Shazinem786

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Joined: 5 Sep 09
From: Malaysia
Posts: 3569

Post #223822 March 2013, 13:51
country joke

1 pakistani and 1 indian girl was talking

pakistani girl: what is the diferences between indian girl and bittch

indian girl: smile and said "border"

This post has been edited 1 time. The last edit took place 22.03.13, 14:27.

RAJKUMAR2007

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Joined: 21 Mar 09
From: India
Posts: 333

Post #223922 March 2013, 16:35
Cell Phone Etiquette

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train."
"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".
"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart".
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer

marvinjerry

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Joined: 12 Jun 13
From: Nigeria
Posts: 2

Post #224012 June 2013, 11:19
i have a friend called piggy, this my guy is a drunker one morning i took him to near by church so that he will be deliverd after delivering him the pastor said from today ur name is no longer piggy ur new name is james . When both of us reach house my guy go freezer nd bring out of bottle of beer named henienken nd said i hav deliver you from today ur new name is orange juice.

This post has been edited 1 time. The last edit took place 12.06.13, 11:20.

This post was written on a mobile device.

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