Three things in Golf that sound dirty:
After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Lift your head and spread your legs.
D**n, I missed the hole again.

Hi Guys
A big HELLO to you all and here's some FLASH NEWS ...

Breaking News: 1
Large quantity of Water and Whales have been traced on Jupiter by the Space Mission Satellite which was launched by one of India's neighbouring countries.

Breaking News: 2
The news is hereby updated to inform that the Space Mission Satellite lauched to Jupiter by that neighbouring country, has been found in the Arabian Sea.

Wow ... now thats some space mission ..

An Englishman in a restaurant: "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don't shout so loudly, sir, or everyone will want one.

[hope I didn't repeat anyone's joke ]

That moment when you're dubbing someone in an exam,then suddenly,the person cancels the whole page.

two lunatics planned to bust out of the mental clinic. their plan was to go to the gate, beat up the security guard and take off.when they arrived at the gate, somehow the guard was not there and he gate was wide open.
one of them then said

"Oh flap!!! our plan has failed, there is no guard to beat up"

....and they went back into the clinic!!!!

racism is when you wash the white clothes before the black ones...

Some people are like slinkies....completely useless yet still put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs

a girl said to me..trust me

there is a family of 5...a husband and a wife with 3 children.
So they had a saying when ever they want to have s**x the husband goes like "hurny can we make a phone call in the bedroom" that waz their way to have s**x.
1day the husband waz very upset and angry..so he come's to the house and send's his son to tel the mother that he wants to make a phone call the mother said "tel your father there is no network"...the kid went back to his father and told him what tha mama said...

Then the father said to his son "go and tel your mother if she does not want i wil go and use a public phone."...the kid went and told her mother and her mother said "son go and tel your father that if he is going to use a public phone,i wil open a call center in this house!".