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Luxanna

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Joined: 16 Jan 11
From: Vietnam
Posts: 4507

Post #206119 October 2011, 09:13
A man with six kids gets on a plane
A young lady sitting nearby asks if those were all his kids
He replies "No madam, I work at the condom factory and these are customer complaints."

_Classy_Girl_

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Joined: 6 Apr 11
From: India
Posts: 738

Post #206221 October 2011, 10:21
An elderly woman went to her local doctor?s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, ?I?d like to have some birth control pills.?

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, ?Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you?re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for??

The woman replied, ?They help me sleep better.?

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued? ?How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep??

The woman said, ?I put them in my granddaughter?s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.?

_SkyleR_

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Joined: 22 Feb 10
From: Sri Lanka
Posts: 131

Post #206325 October 2011, 10:28
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. An American woman is sitting across from them. The
woman isn't paying attention to their conversation at first, but her
attention is grabbed when she hears one of the men say the following:

Man:
Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time.


American woman:
You foul-mouthed s**x obsessed pig" shouts the lady indignantly. "In this
country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our s**x lives....


Man:
Hey, coola down lady," "Who talkin' abouta s**a? I'm a justa tellin' my
frienda how to spella... ' Mississippi ' .

I BET YOU WILL READ THIS AGAIN !!!

_Classy_Girl_

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Joined: 6 Apr 11
From: India
Posts: 738

Post #206425 October 2011, 10:39
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

BrandonCraig

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Joined: 23 Oct 10
From: United States
Posts: 2255

Post #206528 October 2011, 04:39
John's wife had been battling Cancer since long and finally reached the last stage where nothing could be done to save her.
The doctor came up to John with an attempt to console him and said "Im sorry John. I guess its only a matter of another few hours for her to live. But look at it this way ... atleast it will bring an end to sufferings"
John: "Well Doc, being married to that horrible woman, I certainly have been suffering for past 40 years. I guess another few more hour really wont make a difference"

Yuvraj_singh17

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Joined: 6 May 11
From: India
Posts: 67

Post #20661 November 2011, 12:29
Girl: will u love me after the marriage also? Boy: This depends on ur husband if he allows me

This post has been edited 4 times. The last edit took place 01.11.11, 12:48.

This post was written on a mobile device.

Quitter

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Post #20671 November 2011, 12:59

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."

The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.

So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.

The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"

_YOSEF_

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Joined: 4 Apr 11
From: Ireland
Posts: 1531

Post #20681 November 2011, 13:19
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family. A smart a**s student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme s****l exhaustion, professor?" As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look. "Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand.

SxiPapi

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Joined: 18 Jul 08
From: United States
Posts: 2046

Post #20691 November 2011, 14:54
A zookeeper notices someone throwing $20 bills at the monkeys.
The zookeeper tells the man to stop and that it's not allowed.
"Of course it's allowed!", says the man.
"No it's not", says the zookeeper.
"Sure it is, it says right here: 'Don't feed the monkeys. $20 fine.' "

Quitter

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Post #20701 November 2011, 22:35
Justin Bieber is still alive because Chuck Norris doesnt kill women! XD

This post was written on a mobile device.

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