OK so I'm nearly ready to give up now.
I got the sw installed but the driver is now the pain it just doesn't want to install and the phone is still not being detected.
I can go through the install and point to the drivers np but it just comes up as not functional no matter what I try. ( I have a pc tech background so I know what I'm at in that respect)
I know the cable works 'cos I can still connect using the service tool sw, but I can't use that sw to restore the phone.

excuse me while I tear my hair out ...........................................