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Some Blonde Jokes

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crmgarfi

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Joined: 14 Apr 06
From: Turkey
Posts: 1149

report post Post #112 May 2006, 20:38 
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"


- NO OFFENCE -

crmgarfi

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Joined: 14 Apr 06
From: Turkey
Posts: 1149

report post Post #212 May 2006, 20:39 
the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home



- NO OFFENCE -

Mindsweeper809

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Joined: 3 May 06
From: Philippines
Posts: 4826

report post Post #312 May 2006, 21:20 
this is funny!!!

MiDo_944

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Joined: 23 Jun 06
From: Egypt
Posts: 161

report post Post #422 July 2006, 10:36 
these are the best blonde jokes i've ever heard

Retired Zedger

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Joined: 9 Nov 05
From: United Kingdom
Posts: 7

report post Post #522 July 2006, 10:51 
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Retired Zedger

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Joined: 9 Nov 05
From: United Kingdom
Posts: 7

report post Post #622 July 2006, 10:55 
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

donsege

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Joined: 5 May 06
From: Nigeria
Posts: 1177

report post Post #722 July 2006, 10:59 
funny man... real good

Retired Zedger

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Joined: 9 Nov 05
From: United Kingdom
Posts: 7

report post Post #822 July 2006, 11:03 
There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....

MiDo_944

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Joined: 23 Jun 06
From: Egypt
Posts: 161

report post Post #922 July 2006, 11:36 
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!

She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

MiDo_944

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Joined: 23 Jun 06
From: Egypt
Posts: 161

report post Post #1022 July 2006, 11:38 
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

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